This is my best friend Julie's answer to those annoying chain emails:
Friends are not like apples, they don't go bad.
Friends are a cool breeze on a hot summer day.
Friends do not pull your hair.
Friends should not smell like poop.
Friends may or may not puke and then kiss you.
Ah friends, the spice of life.
Forward this to 20000000000 people and you will receive a friend for life.
Do not forward this and you will rot like an apple in hell.
As you can see, she is very brilliant.